NOWHERESVILLE, AUSTRALIA--A local supermarket has decided to get rid of their self-service terminals in a move that has surprised shoppers. "Frankly, I think these terminals are a piece of shit," Grant Gusto, manager of the Nowheresville Food Mart told our reporters. "They're loud, they break down every five minutes and to be perfectly frank I'm sick of hearing a recorded voice telling me to place an item in the bagging area when I've bloody well already placed the item there."
Since the self service terminals have been removed from the store, Nowheresville Food Mart has seen a sharp decline in instance of shoplifting. Other items, such as gourmet truffles are not being mistakenly sold as the much cheaper per kilo brown mushrooms, and shoppers are no longer using the self-service area as an extra entrance to the store. "Best bloody decision that I ever made," Grant Gusto adds. "Best bloody decision ..."