NOWHERESVILLE, AUSTRALIA--Kim Kong, a self-proclaimed gender neutral, homosexual and trans-racial human rights activist suffered a blow this week when the Nowheresville Masgistrates Court ordered that a speeding fine issued to Kong was not a human rights issue. "Anyone who knowingly breaks the law will not be exempt from punishment, just because they feel offended by the speed limit,' Magistrate Bob Allsop told Kong. "You are also reminded that you have been charged with driving while under the influence of a prohibited substance."
Kong's lawyer had previously told the court that the speeding fine discriminated against Kong, as his client was capable of determining at what speed a vehicle could be driven, without having to have limitations imposed on him by the government, and it should not matter what he chose to smoke before getting behind the wheel of his car. "What is the government going to do next?" Kong asked reporters outside court. "Impose rules to make us register our vehicles with them, and make us pay a fee just for the privilege of driving them?"
Kong, who is due to appear in court again next week to answer related charges of driving an unregistered vehicle, listened in stoic silence as Magistrate Bob Allsop read out the verdict. When Magistrate Allsop left the court, Kong became visibly upset and called the chair that belongs to Magistrate Allsop a Nazi. Kong also left negative reviews of the Nowheresville Magistrate Court on Facebook and Yelp, in which the judicial system was labelled "archaic" and "staffed by fascists."