NOWHERESVILLE, AUSTRALIA--Self confessed Batman "superfan" Davinda Smith, age 8, has been outraged by recent rumours that have been circulating among the children in his neighbourhood that his favourite superhero has a problem with his body odour and personal hygiene. "People have been really mean about it," Davinda told our reporter. "Poor Batman. He's just out there, doing his job and trying to defend the world against evil, and all people can do is laugh at him and make up silly songs saying that he smells. It's not fair, and I want to put a stop to it."
Davinda was further annoyed that his favourite Christmas carol, "Jingle Bells" had been ruined in the process. "Now every time I'm at the shops and I hear Jingle Bells, some other kid has to ruin it by singing the Batman version," he sighs. "I just want things to go back to the way they were last Christmas, when I was still only seven. Back then, in the good old days, everyone was a lot nicer and a lot better behaved ..."