Sunday, 29 November 2015

Off Topic: Socially Awkward Men

Okay, hands up! Who remembers that classic Bond film that opens with our beloved employee of Her Majesty's Secret Service singlehandedly shooting half a dozen powerful Russian spies before returning to headquarters where he encounters the plainish yet intelligent Moneypenny who is, of course, completely smitten with Bond, despite the fact that she's not really his type and their relationship is strictly professional. Of course, Moneypenny swoons when she sees Bond who--wait for it--stares at her, laughs and makes some vomiting noises before shouting, "Spew, Moneypenny wants me!" and running out of the room in complete and utter terror.

Of course, you have not seen that Bond film. Because such a thing would never happen. Bond is the ultimate fantasy of an alpha male. He's tough, smart and--perhaps this is the most important bit--Bond has class.

Bond is also not real, which may explain why some men have difficulty following his example.

It never ceases to amaze me how many grown adults actually fear the thought that somebody who they are neither interested in, nor attracted to, might be attracted to them. Granted, there are many, many more people out there would could not give a shit that someone is attracted to them, or who have the capability to take it all in their stride (ie like Bond,) but there are a chosen few who turn back their internal clock and start trying to resolve the matter by acting behaving like a confused and socially inept eleven year old who has just been placed in a particularly awkward situation. 

A few years ago, I had some vague crush on a man who did not return my feelings. I know that I never confessed my crush to anyone, let alone him, but I'm fairly certain that he got hint of it, because he went from being a reasonable man to a bumbling fool who would run away whenever he saw me. I never quite understood what it was that he expected that I would do if I did speak to him? Destroy every last shred of his street cred by, shock! Horror! Asking him out, an offer that is effectively a yes or no question and the answer to which is entirely at his discretion? 

The thing is, by running away, he effectively killed my feelings for him. And not only that, but he killed something else that I had for him. Respect.