Sunday, 11 October 2015

Kathryn's Inbox Exclusive: Attractive Nineteen Year Old Forced to Wait in Queue Like Everyone Else

NOWHERESVILLE, AUSTRALIA--Staff at the Dairy Fresh Ice Creamery stunned onlookers this week, when they told a young, female customer to bloody well line up and wait for her turn to be served, just like the rest of their customers were expected to. "I saw the whole thing," an onlooker, who wished only to be known as Dave told our reporter. "This stupid bimbo and her friend walked straight up to the counter and just expected to be served ahead of everyone else." 

The girl, who identified herself to our reporter as Willow Bark, a nineteen year old fashion model from Nowheresville, was unrepentant about her actions. "How was I supposed to know that there was a queue?" She asked. "I didn't see those people there, I was too busy talking on my phone." With a sigh and a pause, she then added. "They could have just served me anyway. It only takes a minute to get an ice cream and I was pointing at the flavours I wanted. And who cares about the people waiting. I mean, I'm pretty so therefore I should have been served first."

The owner of the Ice Creamery, Brenton Simpson, was unapologetic. "I think its rude when people push in," he says. "We value all of our customers and like to serve all in a timely fashion. It's not fair to make one person wait longer than other. I would just like to stress that their physical attributes have nothing to do with this."

"But I'm pretty," Ms Bark insisted, during what soon became a second confrontation between herself and Mr Simpson. "How is that fair? Don't you know that beautiful people are supposed to get preferential treatment. I'm going to put this on facebook, write a bad review on Yelp and tweet about it to all two thousand of my followers and then your career is going to be finished, Mr Simpson." After this outburst, Ms Bark then treated onlookers to a rendition of the song I Feel Pretty from West Side Story, which in turn caused a couple of the onlookers to begin their own parody song which began, "I'm not modest ..."

Mr Simpson merely shrugged at the suggestion. "I'll file your complaint with all the others," he said, before wandering back to his ice cream stand, where he then sold two chocolate ice creams to a pair of old age pensioners.