Saturday, 3 January 2015

Off Topic: Where Milk Comes From

About ten or so years ago, I used to work as a checkout operator for Coles. The store that I worked at was (at that point time,) on of the busiest in South Australia. One Friday afternoon/evening remains particularly memorable for me, as it was the day after the Australia Day holiday. By about seven o'clock in the evening, with two hours of trade still to go, the store had completely run out of milk. The day had been busier than anticipated and the reality is this: once a supermarket runs out of those items, that is it. There is no more milk. 

Through fielding a huge number of customer complaints that evening, I discovered that there is a huge misconception from some members of the public about how supermarkets source their milk. Some crazy people think that because milk comes in a carton or bottle, that it was probably pasteurised and packed in a factory, and then loaded in the back of a cool truck before being delivered to the supermarket, and that the quantities supplied are based roughly on say, current stock levels and previous sales data, and that someone actually took the time to work all of this out. I would like, therefore to assure you that this is completely and utterly wrong. This is how milk really gets to the supermarket ...

Every Supermarket Has a Cow on Site.

Ever bought a bottle or a carton of milk that has a picture of a cow on it? That's the actual cow who lives in the supermarket. A store employee milks the cow by hand and the milk is poured straight into the bottle. That whole thing about the milk having to be pasteurised before it can be sold is a myth.

By the way ... the cow at my store was named Posh. She was a right diva, always mooing and moaning about the temperature in the cool room and fighting with Doris, the resident hen who produced all of the eggs for the store.

Should the Cow Not Produce Enough Milk ...

We have special magic wands that may be used, upon occasion, to create additional stock of any item. 

PS ... The Store Really Did Have More Milk, But No One Could be Bothered Getting it For You

This is because it is far easier to deal with a dissatisfied and angry customer who will rant, rave and call you names, and threaten to take their woes to A Current Affair for the next ten minutes, than what it is to take a two minute walk out the the cool room to retrieve a carton of milk.