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I read this article on Cosmopolitan recently and it really pissed me off. (So much so that I have decided to write a blog about it.) The story is about a young woman who has a negative self belief that she is ugly and about a bad experience at a nightclub. On the surface, this article looks like a sad story about a woman who has been discriminated against. Look a bit closer and you'll see that it is intended to inspire fear of rejection and of "being ugly" among the target readership, as well as the idea that a woman's self-worth comes from the validation of men.
Here's a better idea. How about writing an article encouraging women to empower themselves, and how to have a good night out without giving a fuck about what other people think? In fact, here are some tips on how to be an empowered, independent woman at a nightclub:
1. Pay your own bloody entrance fee, and buy your own bloody drinks. That's called being an adult. If someone offers to buy you a drink, consider it a gift, not your right. Same as you are not obligated to kiss, dance or sleep with anyone who buys you a drink.
2. Go out to clubs with the objective of dancing and making new friends. You are not obligated to hook up with anyone and nor are they obligated to hook up with you.
3. No one actually gives a flying fuck if you leave alone. You shouldn't care either.
4. Don't base your entire social life around clubbing. Having a range of hobbies, interests and friends and an ability to communicate with others without the aid of alcohol is what will help shape you as a person.
And, finally ...
5. The bad news is that opinions of other people are totally subjective and you cannot control their actions. You cannot force anyone to talk to you, dance with you or find you attractive. The good news is that it doesn't matter.